


Trying to Not Be Extraordinary

by Spectrum_Light



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Domestic, Friendship, Gen, possible future relationships
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-25
Updated: 2015-09-12
Packaged: 2018-04-01 04:23:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 10,008
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4005742
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spectrum_Light/pseuds/Spectrum_Light
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Life really isn't easy with voices in your head and power at your fingertips. </p><p>With a boring job and a daily struggle with an old life, it's practically impossible to deal with every day. Add that you hate superheroes and all they stand for; even they reflect something that's far too close to home. Everything just sucks.</p><p>But an idea to rid herself of her past that turns dreadfully wrong and a bunch of strangely-familiar strangely-welcoming bunch of superheroes will turn her world on its very sarcastic and pissed off head. </p><p>Note: Life is especially difficult when sides change and black-and-white morals become increasingly blurred. And for GOD'S SAKE, that goddamn cute Captain Morals was really starting to REALLY piss her off.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. EPRA; This is A Terrible Idea!

**Author's Note:**

  * For [goodbyebluesky](https://archiveofourown.org/users/goodbyebluesky/gifts).



**Hi guys, I'm reposting this all because my chapters were pretty messy, but it's all good now. I love feedback, so feel free to drop a review xD**

**Chapter 1**

I'm not really sure of much anymore. Nothing in this world is certain; things like us being alone in the universe used to be a common fact. Now everyone knows that aliens exist along with immortals, superheroes and monsters. How can we be sure of anything?! Is the world really round, is God or any form of him real, are everyday people safe anywhere and can these "heroes" be trusted? 'Hero'; what an overused word. People with superpowers are not better than average people. They just think they're worth more than another goddamn human being.

That's why I want to launch the EPRA. I don't just want extraordinary registered, even though they are a large part of the problem. I want the "heroes"; the superhumans, the immortals and even the above average humans all registered, tracked and maybe even locked up. That is the only way we have a hope of finding a safe society. And this is exactly what I am going to tell the Board of Directors.

* * *

I walked down the corridor with a purposeful stride; this was the make or break moment of finding a safe solution to 'the problem'. I was meeting the Board of Directors, the secret figures behind the American (and possibly other's) government, to deliver EPRA and hopefully get their approval to run it. Ahead, the video conference room I would be using drew closer and a cold sweat started on my brow. I had no idea how they would take it; I could be laughed at and thrown out of my department for all I knew. It could be a mistake to do this, but I felt it was my duty to society to at least try. By now I had reached the door and only had a minute and a half before I was to enter. Nervously pacing, I re-shuffled my notes and then shuffled them again.

"Don't worry. How bad can it be, sweetheart?" a male voice spoke from behind me and I spun to face him.

He was middle-aged and pretty overweight. He wore a crinkled suit and had a look of condescending amusement written across his face. I momentarily forgot the seriousness of the situation and rolled my eyes.

"Very bad, thanks. Anyway, should you be down here; this is a private conference." I said while trying to redeem some professionalism.

His arched eyebrow rose even more as he reached in his pocket and withdrew an ID card. It had his name and picture printed on it, along with a large eight and an aggressive font that read S.H.I.E.L.D. Seeing S.H.I.E.L.D. plastered all over him, I backed off.

"Yeah, I think I'm allowed to be here." he spoke again while smirking, "I am the agent assigned here to make sure the proceedings go smoothly, after all."

Man, this guy was starting to seriously get on my nerves. Was he smug or what?

"Well thanks,  _Freddy_ , that's real helpful." I said, getting the name off his ID card.

His smile disappeared as he said "Call me Agent Johnson."

His eyes flicked down to the watch he wore on his wrist and he smiled again, "Go in now."

Brushing off the pushy comments, I swiped my key card across the sensor and heard a click as the door unlocked. I gulped slightly and then pushed open the door.

* * *

The room was quite dark; one dim light bulb was the only light source. The room was bare besides a chair, a control panel and the video screen which took up a whole wall. The door slammed behind me as I walked towards the chair, as if to remind me I was now trapped until the end of the meeting. Sitting down, I regarded the panel as numbers quickly (or at least seemed that they were quick) counted down. 7,6,5; and God, what if wasn't ready for this?! 4,3,2; after all these were America's masterminds! I was just a boring secretary in some boring government agency with an interesting past. I was a vaguely proud owner of a brand spanking new Doctorate in Medicine with a undergraduate in computer science. What chance did I stand against the Board of Directors?!

1.

"Your meeting with the Board of Directors will now commence. May you be reminded that this is a classified meeting and sharing any of its content will result in dire consequences." A nasally voice spoke from a hidden panel as a light on the screen flickered to life.

I collected my papers and thoughts while trying to block out the voice's ominous message. After a quick flickering of a symbol identical to Agent Coulson's badge, five shadowed figures appeared on the screen.

"You are Kirana Harrison, correct?"

I nodded, while ignoring the hideous mispronunciation of my name; how hard is Kear-arna?

"You have come to speak to us about..." the woman in the centre spoke again and after a quick glance at her notes she continued.

"The 'Extraordinary Persons Registration Act'?"

Again I nodded, the lump in my throat causing words to be an impossible endeavour. I really needed to pull myself together if I was going to present my Act.

"EPRA is a very intriguing idea, but why should we accept your proposal? We have been shown many similar policies and none of them have proven to be worth the time or money spent on them. Why is your Act different, Miss Harrison?" Another hidden man spoke with occasional nods from the other Directors.

I launched into the speech I had written and l have to say, it was quite good. The Directors' reactions seemed to only justify this. All the slight nods were encouraging and caused my confidence levels to rise. At the end of my speech, I sat back on to the chair and tried to stop my shaking hands. Suddenly, the Directors went completely silent. I looked up to see they were all still talking, but they had silenced my end. Since they were all in shadow I couldn't even read their lips. I leaned back in the chair and I tried to look nonchalant while my mind was secretly in turmoil. Did they think EPRA was good; it seemed impossible in my eyes. Finally, the Directors stopped talking and I could now hear them.

The middle woman, who first spoke, shifted and started to speak, "Miss Harrison, we have a proposal for you."


	2. Oh Boy...

**Chapter 2**

 

_The middle woman, who first spoke, shifted and started to speak, "Miss Harrison, we have a proposal for you."_

 

My hands started to shake again and the voice I had only recently recovered once again disappeared. After a slight nod, she looked to her equals and then turned back to me.

 

"We’ve decided EPRA is exactly what we’re looking for." she said as

I stared back in shock.

 

They had actually accepted EPRA? Oh my G- This could turn all the problems around!

 

Breaking my focus, she started to speak again.

 

"Before starting, we have some queries. We found it...curious, that you of all people would put this forth; provided your history with mutants and superheroes."

 

I tried to hide the wince that came with her words, 'Provided your history...'. Would people never get over that? I had tried to distance myself from my past and yet they had always seemed to be right over my shoulder. My past was one of the main reasons I created and presented the 'Extraordinary Persons Registration Act'.  My past was dangerous and even though it was probably wrong on a moral level, I wanted them locked up.

 

"I have not seen 'my history' in six years; I have refused to see them since I was… released. I no longer recognise them as a part of me nor do I feel any emotional attachment to them. I believe all of them and their kind a dangerous to the everyday citizen of every country. Do not confuse these facts; I do not care about them." I said this all with a slightly clenched jaw that I hoped they couldn't see.

 

She stared for a moment before she continued, "Alright, that is an answer we can respect. I can comfortably say that we know where you stand on this subject. That only continues to prove that you are exactly what we are looking for."

 

Pausing momentarily, as if gathering strength to discuss a dreaded subject. she started to talk again. "I assume you have heard of the Avengers and its 'fantastic' members."

 

I gulped and didn't even respond. Of course I had heard of them; they were the other reason for the creation of EPRA. Why did that matter anyway?

 

She took this as a yes and continued smoothly. "They are the superheroes you spoke of. They are one of the main points of your Act, along with the X-Men and the Brotherhood. The Avengers are the most public group and they are almost impossible to monitor thanks to Anthony Stark. The Director of SHIELD can get little to no information from them and they refuse to trust any SHIELD agent. For this reason and many other, they are being reviewed as possible threats to our society and interests. Thus they need to monitored and if possible, regulated. We need a mole; someone who they will grow to trust, someone who they will grow to care for and someone who can get them to submit to our rules. A mole who wouldn't look out of place and could have ready access to medical files. A doctor, perhaps?"

 

No, no, no! They could not seriously be thinking this?!? Joining the people I despise most?!?

 

"We are completely serious, Miss Harrison. We do not joke with matter as serious as this."

 

I wondered if the Board of Directors could read my mind or was I just that obvious?

 

Regaining some composure, I tried to splutter out some words, "Please, after all I have spoken about and all I have worked you wish to send me into the centre of it?!?! Directors, with all due respect of course, I ask whether you have heard a word I have said. I wish to distance myself, and society, from supernatural beings! I have no, actually I have less than none, interesting in working with them!”

 

A shadow-faced man growled words at me, “This is not about your interests, Miss Harrison. This is about the good of the people, not your personal interests!”

 

I bit back words as I knew better than to take the bait; superior didn’t even begin to explain his importance compared to mine.

 

“Enough,” the middle woman spoke without conviction, and I believed that she secretly agreed with him, “Miss Harrison, don’t speak of such ridiculous things. Please refrain from saying such childish things from now on.”

 

After feeling sufficiently scolded and treated like a toddler, I spat out a lame excuse, “What about my job?’

 

She smirked as if she had already won, and in a way, she has. Even I knew that my job wouldn’t affect this; I was a ‘Secret Minister’ as my group had been dubbed so cleverly. I worked behind the scenes, outside the public and the presses’ awareness and help run the puppetry. It wouldn’t matter if I ‘disappeared’ from work.

 

“Miss Harrison, we are offering you a simple deal; recover all the information that we need so we can enforce the Extraordinary Persons Registration Act. EPRA is an ideal solution to a problem our country faces, but we need your help.”

 

It sounded so easy; go in, befriend them, get the info and get out and yet I knew it would be a lot more difficult than that. I also knew that there was no other way for the Act to be made if I refused them.

 

“Thank you, Directors. I gratefully accept your deal.” I spoke with the voice of someone who had seen their future and had come to terms with it.

 

A man who had not yet spoken softly leaned forward, “The details will be delivered in the following days.”

 

Slowly, each screen winked out and was filled with a symbol that I now assumed was SHIELD’s. After wobbling into standing position and walking to the door, I wrenched it open and ignored the agent who lay on the other side. I walked out and strode back down the corridor feeling like a spineless coward.

 

~

 

I blinked in the sunshine as I let the roar on New York wash over me. Most people say it’s only a city, but I and any other New Yorker knew better. Listen and you could hear it’s heartbeat among the chaos. Sure it’s been wounded, I thought as I watched a man lay flowers at a memorial in front of building rubble, but it’s alive and it’ll come back.

 

I rubbed my tired eyes with my hands and sighed; sometimes being a politician feels like I was moving a ton of straw with tweezers. Whatever I did it always seemed like there was still a mountain waiting for me. I whistled for a taxi and gave the address. The taxi driver did a double-check as he looked at my pristine Armani suit and my request.

 

“Are you sure, missy? That’s a rough part of town.” He said.

 

“I am fine, thank you. I have been treated like a child enough today.” I snapped at the unsuspecting taxi driver, releasing a fraction of my irritation.

 

He raised his eyebrow in the rearview mirror and silently pulled out into the traffic. After mentally noting to give him an extra tip for my unfair outburst, I pulled out my phone and speed dialled.

 

“Yello?” a perky voice called from the other line with an odd accent.

 

Even tired, that voice could make me smile, “Hey Sophie.”

 

“Kay, how are you? I haven’t spoken to you since forever!” she spoke even more cheerily, if it was even possible.

 

“So, forever now means this morning? Sophie I really need a coffee right now.” I spoke while trying to keep the weariness out of my voice.

 

Yet, like always, Sophie saw through it all, "Ahh, one of those days. I’ll be there in 15 minutes.  SEE YOU THERE!” she practically yelled through the phone, making me cringe and laugh at the same time.

 

“Á bientôt!” I called back into the receiver and ended the call.

 

I slouched into the seat, feeling better already after speaking to her. She was one of those friends that seemed to make the sun shine. When Sophie laughed, the world stopped to watch and wanted to know why. When Sophie cried, the world froze and rushed to her aid with chocolate and tissues. When Sophie cared about you, it crushed and hugged you, refused to let go and made the darkest days brighter.

 

The taxi came to halt and I stepped around to driver’s door, “I’m sorry, sir. Here, thank you.”

 

I passed him a twenty for the ride and ten as a tip. He simply nodded and drove away. I turned around and wandered down the street. I got a few weird looks, but I simply tugged my collar up and kept walking. I turned the corner and cheery chatter washed me. I loved ‘The Jazz Frontier’, it was quaint, hipster café hidden in the maze streets. It wasn’t too far away from home and it wasn’t a tourist hub; it was perfect. I walked into the busy café and listened for a voice that I knew would stand out in the crowd.

 

“Kay! Kay, here!” the heavy Australian accent cut through the crowd of Yankee accents.

 

I walked over to our favourite table where Sophie sat, grinning at me.

 

“How you doin’, Kay?”


	3. Only Losers Need Instructions

**Chapter 3**

"So, you can't tell me anything besides it's something bad and it's to do with your… you know what I mean." Sophie summed up my half hour rant as she tapped on the table with her spoon.

Rolling my eyes, I nodded. She just nodded back at me and pursed her lips in thought. As she silently thought, I pulled out a pen and began to draw on the serviette. I wasn't quite sure what exactly I was drawing, but it reminded me of a city skyline with vibrant shapes and twirling towers. Sophie peered over the table to the serviette I was scribbling on and sighed.

"That bad, huh?" she spoke softly as she noticed my bad habit.

Whenever I had felt really stressed or angry, I had always used to draw; I had tried to ditch the hobby of drawing, but sometimes I just couldn't help it. I had been quite good when I was younger, but it had fallen into the background when I grew up and drawing had all but faded from my life.

"Let's go home, shall we? I have something that I think will cheer you up." She drained the last dregs of her coffee and stood up.

I followed her example and place a tip under my cup. I walked beside Sophie as we strode down the street. You might wonder why we would leave our presumably super expensive mode of transportation in the middle of a rough neighbourhood to be stolen or trashed and I wouldn't blame you. The thing is, good ol' Humphrey (a bloody long and good story to be told another day) isn't super expensive model of a car/convertible/limo.

I walked up to a sea-blue beat-up truck whose best days where long behind him. I grinned and pulled myself into the passenger seat and relaxed into the squishy, thread-bare seats. We had gotten Humphrey over six years ago from a side-of-the-road sale out in the country, but he was still strong and was tough as a tank. I rolled down the windows as Sophie gunned the engine into life. I leaned into the seat and let my hand sit on the windows edge as we drove into traffic.

Oh, and note that I have enough money to buy my own apartment, but that's beside the point. I had never liked living alone, it just brings up old worries and there's no fun in living alone, either. I was only 23, after all! So, Sophie and I shared a nice apartment in the city centre where the hum of the city was with us day and night.

I slid the key into the lock while balancing a bag on my hip, and pushed open the door. I kicked it open and wandered into the apartment before dropping the bags onto a table.

"Did you go shopping for bricks?" I asked as Sophie struggled with her equal burden of heavy items.

"Har, har. You're  _sooo_  funny. I bought a new telescope! And some other stuff." She quickly mumbled before dropping everything and grinning.

That was another reason we bought this apartment; a top floor with a fire-escape that led straight to the roof. The stars were my biggest weakness; I had been known in the past to miss important meetings because of a meteor shower or a sleep-in due to one.

Sophie continued to walk around the place, assigning things to their homes before she came to rest in front of me. She paused for a moment, smiled and then jumped into the air excitedly.

"It's so cool; this telescope has got pollution-clearance technology, quartz glass mirrors and even…" Sophie spoke like a toddler at Christmas as she listed off special features that I would never notice or remember about the new telescope she had bought.

I nodded towards the box which still lay untouched on the table to remind Sophie that she hadn't actually opened it yet. Her eyes lit up as her cheeks reddened slightly and she grabbed the box before tearing up the stairs to the second level. I shook my head at her shenanigans before plopping down on the couch. I surveyed the room as I listened to the bumps and knocks upstairs. The room wasn't very big, but it led to a kitchen and study; unlike the large upper level which had two bedrooms, a bathroom, a spare room and a bedroom converted to personal library. Warm sunlight filtered through the floor-to-ceiling glass doors that branched out to a tiny balcony. The gauze curtains hung limply, longing for a breeze, onto the dark wood floors and the brick walls positively glowedlit up the numerous photographs and pictures that hung on the walls. The apartment wasn't luxurious or perfect, but it was cosy and felt the way a home should feel.

"Are you coming or not?!" Sophie's voice echoed down the stairs to me and I pulled myself into standing position.

"I'm coming, I'm coming; get a hold of yourself!" I called back as I climbed the metal, circular staircase.

I came to the top of the stairs only to see that Sophie had already unpacked the entire box and had pieces of telescope surrounding her. Laughing, I slipped towards her and landed on the floor in what I hoped was suave but most likely my signature, clumsy way. For a little while, when I was around Sophie, I could forget my troubles and let out the inner child that I showed to few people.

Rocking forward, I grabbed a 'something' and spoke, 'Are there instructions or are we going to bodge this like last time?'

Sophie rolled her eyes jokingly, "Are you kidding me? Only losers need instructions."


	4. Of Course You Already Knew That

**Chapter 4**

"For a politician, you're pretty damn lazy! Kay, get up!" Sophie's voice called loudly through the walls.

I groaned and turned over to bury my face in the pillow. I raised my head slightly to look at the clock and once more, groaned.

"Well, most people are sane enough not to get up until well after the sun has risen! It's 5 in the morning! Also, I probably don't even have a job!" I called as I pulled myself into sitting, then standing, position.

"It's Friday! Of course I'm up this early! My first client is at six, then the next at 6.40; I have to be up early, unlike  _some_ people. Some of us use our psychological knowledge for good, not manipulation." She shouted as I opened the door onto the main room.

I rolled my eyes at her before stumbling out onto the couch. Yes, I knew that normal people aren't up at 5 on Fridays, and no, I did not enjoy it one bit. I also couldn't complain; after all she was doing charity work. Sophie is what she and I called a 'life guide'. She had a degree in Psychology and was an official member of NYCServices Volunteer Group. She worked in a mental health clinic Monday to Friday, but every Monday and Friday she did things a little differently. On those two days, she gave free life coaching, life advice and psychological therapy. She believed that everyone needs help occasionally, and most of the time, the people who need it most can't afford it. A year ago when she started the program, I had thought it was a nice idea and had a good sentiment, but I had no idea how it would sky-rocket. Now she works twelve hour days on Monday and Friday just to fit in all the people.

"By the way, a dude in a suit is waiting downstairs and Kay, he won't accept my coffee! He has something for you, but he refuses to hand it over to me. "Sophie spoke again, her words as casual as all the others and with a slight pout.

Quickly, I pulled on a decent shirt and pants before tripping down the stairs, trying to tie up my hair. I reached the bottom step and sure enough, a man in a pristine suit was seated on the couch, looking around the room.

"When the Directors said that I would receive details in the following days, I had assumed they meant in the decent hours of the day!" I said as I walked stiffly towards him.

He stood up, towered over me and looked down at me over his sunglasses. He simply shrugged before handing me a thick, paper folder. Without saying a word, he brushed past me and walked out the door. I slammed the door after him and strode back up the stairs before throwing the folder in my room. I then once more slouched down them to the breakfast table.

"What a rude man!" I fumed as I angrily poured cereal into my bowl and yes, 23 year olds still eat Cornflakes.

Sophie simply nodded before placing her dishes in the dishwasher and standing up. She grabbed her bag and walked towards the door.

"Don't have too much fun without me!" she called as she slammed the door shut.

I sat for a few moments, watching the door before I stood up to dump my plate in the washer. I was most certainly the messier of us. Sighing, I trudged up the stairs to do what I knew had to be done. The average-looking folder lay innocently on the floor, almost beckoning me to open it. Somewhere in the back of my mind a voice said I had to get ready for possible work, but the more excitable part silenced it, saying that work could be cancelled and the folder was here. I picked up the folder and brought it to the main room. I sat in the middle of the rug and after a breath to still my speeding heart, I opened the folder.

* * *

An hour later, I lay surround with seven piles of assorted papers.

Each pile had a story to tell and each was diverse as the next. Gamma radiation, super-serum, a billionaire suit, a demigod, a rejected frost giant, a guy with impeccable aim and a seductive assassin. This mess I had gotten myself into seemed to be getting thicker and thicker with each passing second. I dropped my head into my hands before gathering all the papers. Even though I had never wanted this, I knew better than to leave these, mainly incomplete but still, secret documents out in the open. I grabbed the folder and brought it to my room where I kept my safe. I stuffed the files inside, before picking up some clothes and heading to the shower.

As the hot water poured down over my head, all the faces began to blur together and a whirlwind of words covered the back of my eyelids. Random sentences that my tired eyes had read flickered on and off like candles in the wind; each sentence was only comprehendible for a moment.

Snapping my eyes open, I stifled a gasp and turned off the tap. I stepped out and grabbed my towel before wiping a hand over my eyes. I was only greeted by furious words, so I opened my eyes again. I stared into the mirror; my eyes looked red and gritty.

It was going to be a long day.

* * *

I ended up receiving a simple email saying in fact I was working, I set off. After a ridiculous amount of traffic, as usual, and the super-security to get into my building, as usual, I sat on my chair. My computer lay in front of me, promising the usual monotonous work, as usual. I powered up the computer and went through the procedure of getting into my system. As I booted up my work and stared at the towering pile of paper on my desk, I let my mind wander. Going into automatic, my hands moved as my mind floated away. I had never thought being a politician would be so boring; I had thought it would be glamorous and inspiring and most of all, I thought I would be about helping people. Instead, I worked behind a desk, never saw a glimpse of glory and most certainly didn't help people. I was just there to make sure the politicians out there looked good and that their lives ran smoothly. Who knows, maybe working with Avengers would let me help people; hell, I'd be great a-

What was I thinking?! I abruptly cut off my thoughts and jerked to attention. Shaking my head, I simply buckled down and tried to block all other thoughts except for the ones on the screen in front of me.

I jiggled the key in the lock and shimmed open the door. I closed the door behind me by leaning on it and then slid down onto the floor.

"Kirana, could you come over here please?" Sophie spoke with a seemingly happy voice, but after so long I could recognise the stress underneath.

Also, Sophie never used my full name, unless she was freaked out. I scrambled to my feet and walked out into the living room. I must say, it took me by surprise to see this person sitting comfortably on my couch. He stood up, brushed himself off and gave me a cocky smile before raising his hand.

"Hi. The name's Tony Stark, but of course, you already know that."

 


	5. EXACTLY!

**Chapter 5**

" _Hi. The name's Tony Stark, but of course, you already know that."_

Oh my freaking – Why was he in my house? I stood, unmoving for a few moments before launching into my political routine.

"Oh right. Well, hello Mr Stark. May I ask, what are you doing here? Also, why do you know where I live?" I said, while trying to keep the frost out of my voice.

After all, I had to befriend these people and I don't think they would appreciate my 'I-want-all-superpeople-locked-up beliefs'. Wow, one minute and already I was struggling to be nice. How was I going to last for a day or worse, a week?

He simply grinned again, before sinking back into the chair and beckoning me to join him. Gritting my teeth, I plastered on a smile and sat next to him. He placed a hand over my shoulder, which caused me to squirm uncomfortably. How could anyone be this constantly… relaxed?!

"Ki.. Actually, I'm gonna call you Kay, as this lovely young lady put it earlier, as your first name is a ridiculous mouthful. Of course you don't mind, so moving on!" he spoke in a continuous flow without once asking for confirmation or approval.

"I was made aware this morning that a new member would be entering my personal workforce, and obviously, I was curious as I neither hired you nor asked for a new employee. So, I came to investigate after I got all your data sent to me, which I must say was interesting and was patchy at best. So, why can't I dig up any information on your early life, why am I employing you and who are you really, Kay?" again, a constant stream of words flew out of his mouth and confused me beyond belief.

I glanced over at Sophie, who looked as baffled as me, before staring back at him. I wanted to launch into an indignant, furious lecture, but yet again, I was too cowardly. I simply let out a breath, rubbed my eyes and stared out the window.

"Mr Stark. I am an orphan as far as I see it, so my early life is incomplete at best. My family mistreated me and deserted me when I needed them." The frost was evident and bitter, but as I steered away from my family, I controlled my tone again, "Also, a Ms Potts contacted me via the recruitment agency. I had to have take three levels of police checks to get onto your team. Ms Potts hired me in your name because she said that you had told her, I quote, that 'that you don't trust any regular doctors because they're all money-grabbing maniacs'. I was hired as your personal doctor; I even had to get checked by a group called Shield. A weird group of people, I think they are branch of the CIA… Anyway, does anybody know they really are?"

He just looked at me for a second, which made me think he hadn't bought the lies about S.H.I.E.L.D. Since I was nervous, when he suddenly clapped me on the shoulder, I almost punched him in response.

"Of course. Pepps is always looking out for me. I did say that; c'mon, all doctors are shifty money-grabbers. Not you, your part of my team now, so you're fine. You'll do just great. I will see you on Monday morning. Also, since it's on the other side of town, I thought it'd be easier if you stayed at the tower. It will better if there's an accident or something. Don't worry, sweetcheeks, you'll have your own space. I will see you at nine! Don't be late; who am I kidding? I'm always late, just be there before ten because I want you to meet the team. Bye, Kay. BYE SOPHIE!" The whirlwind of Armani swept out the door leaving a faint, irritating trail of cologne.

"You never said you were leaving."

"I can't believe him! SWEETCHEEKS?!"

The look she sent me made me rewind back, to actually understand what she had said. After a moment, I breathed loudly and sat down.

"I didn't even think about that," I admitted, "I had thought that I could just go from here every morning. What he said makes sense, I guess. They'll want me on freaking 24 hour call, I bet. Well, the asshole's also not here for me to make a complaint to."

I rubbed the back of my neck before I raised my eyes. She looked me straight in the eye and just stared for a moment. Thoughts seem to consume her and cloud her vision before she straightened. Sophie stood and walked into the kitchen without a second glance.

"I won't hold you back. I can tell how much this means to you, even though you won't tell me what's happening. I knew you before everything; I know how much you hate superheroes and that you wouldn't hang around with them if you didn't have to. Just remember, you'll always have a place here…. And don't just forget me, will you?"

Being a master of words and all, my response was just a hug that felt like goodbye.

* * *

With suitcase in tow, I crossed the busy street with reluctant steps. Stark Tower loomed in front of me and a steady current of people entered and exited the building. A beacon of hope, I thought with laugh; more like a reminder of money and Tony Stark.

The reception room (mega-cave) bustled with people, so the queue for the desk was long and made my already-anxious nerves heighten. The receptionist gave me a once-over before she resumed typing away at her computer. I waited while glancing around the busy room.

"Dr Kirana Harrison, correct? Please step over here and I will take your photo." She talked briskly before gesturing to a white wall.

My expression in the photo probably resembled a deer in headlights or a stunned mullet. After a minute, she passed me an I.D card and gestured to the elevator. As I walked over, a strawberry-blonde popped her head out to smile at me.

She put a hand forward and shook mine before she spoke, "Kirana? It's lovely to meet you; I have heard glowing reports from everyone I spoke to. You've got the card? Fantastic, Kirsten is always on top of things. Come with me."

I stepped into the elevator and stood in silence again, until once more she struck up conversation, "Oh my, I forgot to introduce myself. I am Virginia Potts, but please call me Pepper. A ridiculous nickname, I know, but Tony is just… eccentric like that. Everyone has a nickname; he's been calling you Kay already. Would you prefer that or Kirana?"

She was nothing but polite, yet a niggling feeling at the back of my head made my words frosty. I straightened and looked out the elevator to admire the city.

"I would prefer Dr Harrison or simply Doctor. I am here to work as part of your staff; I am not here to be your friend. Kindly remember that, Ms Potts." Regret is an emotion I am all too familiar with and once again, it made me feel like a fool.

I desperately wanted to take back the words, but alas, the world had already stolen them.  _If you used your gifts_ , a voice whispered,  _you could take them back_. I stopped its poison as soon as it came, but admittedly, the thought was tempting. A way to always choose the right path… Out of my peripheral vision I saw Ms Potts send me a look of surprise and another emotion I couldn't decipher in my state of heightened anxiety. She nodded and I resumed looking out the window at the city. I had been part of many awkward silences, but this one was a doozy; Ms Potts had obviously taken my rudeness to heart. Let's just say I was thankful when the elevator's journey finished. She stepped out and I meekly followed behind while tugging along the noisy suitcase.

"Leave it here for now. You are going to meet the team before I show you to your quarters,  _Miss_  Harrison." She didn't turn around when she spoke, so I just followed behind her.

The slur was mild compared to my offense, so I let it slide. I grasped my hands together and struggled to slow my rapidly beating heart.

Can I just say, the floor alone was massive with sculptures and paintings demanding my gaze. The artist inside of me wanted to stare at the art and admire it for hours, but the rational part of me choked this and kept walking.

"Kay darling! We were worried that you got lost or something! My, my, you are looking lovelier and lovelier dear every time I see you. …. Sorry, Pepps, it's in my nature; I can't help it." Tony's voice bounced around the room.

Ahead, an assortment of people were making their way towards me with Tony taking the lead. To my (immense) surprise, he grasped me around the shoulders in an impromptu hug before steering me towards the group.

"Go ahead, don't be shy. We promise not to bite; that doesn't happen until at least week two…. I'm joking, don't be so serious Kay. Go on, introduce yourself." After releasing me, he planted a hand between my shoulder blades and pushed me towards the group.

The lump that always appeared around public speaking embedded itself in my throat, "Um, yeah, hi. I'm Dr Harrison and I would prefer that you called me tha-"

Before I finished, Pepper saved me from myself, "This is Kirana, though she would prefer Dr Harrison. She is Tony's doctor and since you're all living here now, I guess that she's your doctor too. I'm sure she'll be just  _fantastic_."

Another wave of shame hit me at the realisation that she had saved me from myself, even though I was horrible to her. Pepper proceeded to give me a look that prompted me to wave and nod in recognition. A man with shortly cropped hair stepped up to me with an out-stretched hand.

"The name's Clint, but you can call me whatever you want." His word were accompanied by a flirtatious wink and slap to the shoulder by his associate.

The next to shake my hand was a woman with violently red hair that introduced herself as "Natasha; just Natasha". Then a curly-haired man with grey streaks said "Bruce. It's ok; you don't need to shake my hand."

" C'mon Cap, I promise she doesn't bite… Who am I kidding, maybe she does? This is our last teammate as Thor is busy in Asgard doing … godly, heroic stuff." Tony spoke breezily before taking another sip of his drink.

I turned around to an interesting character; an undeniably and unbelievably (Kirana, get a hold of yourself!) handsome man, yet he stood awkwardly and humbly.

He put a hand forward before speaking, "It's a pleasure to meet you, Ma'am. Pardon me; Dr Harrison. I hope you enjoy your work here at Stark Tower."

I grasped his hand and shook it firmly. Before I realised myself, I smiled and felt sort-of welcome to this little group. I was immediately ashamed at my lapse in character and released his hand before sealing my face off with a light frown.

"Umm, thank you. I am looking forward to spending time with you, team. Now if you don't mind, I would like to unpack." I could almost feel the cold breeze that came with the words, but alas, they were gone.

Most of them seemed almost amused, but Pepper seemed to want me out of her hair. She grabbed a case, grabbed an arm and began to tow me towards the elevator. Tony grabbed the other arm before speaking.

"No! Stay! C'mon, have a little fun, you can unpack later! We want to… get to know you. You're so serious; you need to lighten up!" His words were nothing but kind, except his words caused ghosts from my past to begin to rise.

I ripped my arm from his grip and strode towards the elevator.

Pepper followed me, dumped my other bag in the elevator and left after saying "JARVIS is voice controlled. JARVIS, take DR Harrison to her floor so she can unpack."

The door closed and I slumped onto the floor. Since when have I been such a horrible person? These people were so nice, but all they did was warm those embers of hate that settled at the pit of my stomach.

* * *

Soon after, the doors opened onto a large room with floor to ceiling windows that revealed my city and my longing to go home. I threw the suitcases down near the boxes that had already been delivered and steeled my nerves as I prepared to go downstairs. I had to try again. For Pete's sake, I had to live with these people; I didn't want them hating me.

I stepped into the elevator and commanded JARVIS to return me to my previous floor. The doors slid closed and I started the descent to the Avengers. When I arrived at their floor, the doors slid open silently to reveal a conversation I shouldn't have been part of.

"She was a definite charmer. Tony, you really painted a different character to me. You said awkward, but witty. This was just Ice Queen extraordinaire." Clint said with a slight chuckle.

"I know, guys, she was a bit cold-"

"Frigid is more suitable, I think."

"Thank you, Pepper." Tony continued, "But, I think she just needs time to settle."

"I don't know, Tony. Dr Harrison, "Natasha said mockingly, "sent off a lot more signals then just cold. I got masked judgement, multiple personalities at work and thinly concealed hate. I think she's more trouble than she's worth. She's got spy written all over her; are you sure you did a whole background check?"

"Yes, Nat! She's a minor politician with a ton of degrees for someone her age. I couldn't find where she graduated from, but she checked out with S.H.I.E.L.D. They did a whole interview and all that crap, so I think that's sufficient. Sure, she's a bit of a bitch, but just give her some time. Apparently, she's 'an orphan as far as she sees it', so she doesn't really have a family. Who knows, maybe meeting the most famous people on Earth had a negative effect on her?" Tony's words were kind, in a roundabout way.

"Or she's just a cow?"

"Clint, maybe we should give her a chance."

"That's easy for you to say, Mr Love-Thy-Neighbour. Steve, you have to admit, she was rude. I'm surprised that your  _ye olde manners_ senses weren't tingling."

"Well…."

"EXACTLY!"

I stepped back into the elevator, unable to listen to anymore, and rode back to my floor.  _Well done_ , a bitter voice in my head snipped,  _you've made a bad situation even_ _worse_.

"Oh, haven't I just." My voice echoed around the empty room like my own voice was mocking me.


	6. How Can You Know That?

**Chapter 6**

A shroud of shame and embarrassment covered me as I sat in my massive room/apartment/floor. I had been so prickly; actually no, I had been a bitch.

Pepper was nothing, but kind and polite. The others had been welcoming. The conversation made me want to curl up into a ball. The clock on the counter blared one o'clock which made me feel even worse. I picked up my bag and walked into the elevator. The journey was short and I was quickly delivered to the gym level. The level had no lights except for a single light in the centre of the large window-lined room.

A wave of comfort swept over me as I wrapped the bandages around my hands and ankles. A large boxing bag hung from the ceiling and it seemed to swing as I stepped towards it. This, I thought, this I can do.

* * *

The first punches hurt because I hadn't warmed up, but it was nothing compared to the satisfaction. I started out pulling my punches, so the bag only swung slightly. After a few minutes I became bored by the lack of power, so I let my strength flow. The bag swung violently and leapt around like a dancer trying to reach the sky. I began a full fighting routine with kicking and elbows as if I was fighting an opponent. Memories surfaced and echoes of voices made the silent room wake up and quake.

This only made me fight harder to keep them away. Suddenly, the bag exploded in a flood of white sand and red material. I sighed and wiped the sweat out of my eyes. I was about to fix the bag when a man spoke.

"Ma'am? Are you alright?" I turned around to a  _very_  surprised-looking Steve Rogers staring at me.

DAMN. How do I cover this up? I hadn't expected anyone to be awake at this time. The punching bag continued to spill sand on the floor so, for a little while, the only sound was trickling sand. I closed my eyes and took the hasty lie that appeared.

"Yeah, I'm fine thanks. The bag had a break; I had thought I wouldn't be strong enough to break it. Ha, don't know my own strength, yeah… So, how long were you standing there watching me?" I said while looking around the room for something to clean up the mess.

He seemed slightly floored at the mention of him staring, but he recovered quickly, "Oh, not long. I just walked in and saw you break the bag. Oh, don't worry about it. I do that all the time; I'll talk to JARVIS."

I nodded, like the awkward turtle I am, and reached down to pick up my bag. I strutted (more like ran without bending my knees) and went to walk out when he reached out and grabbed my elbow.

I swung forward a little with momentum and then sent an automatic withering stare. He dropped my elbow quickly, with slight, if I was correct, distaste, which made my stomach drop. Well done, Kay, you've disgusted Captain Morals. He took a step back and sent a look up and down before speaking.

"You really don't want to be here." A question mark longed to be attached to the sentence, but it seemed to have got lost in the journey between him and I.

I stuttered, and then stumbled for an answer. Before I could attain one, Steve spoke again.

"Or do you just not like people? You are carrying around a lot of anger for a 20 year old." His voice held no malice (of bloody course), but the words still stung.

At this, I decided to keep walking and only spoke when I reached the elevator.

"Thanks. But yeah, I have nothing against people in general, but I just have something against superheroes. They're all the same; they want you to sacrifice yourself for a cause when you've barely lived and expect loyalty with nothing in return. You have to give EVERYTHING for a people who hate you and who will never accept y- You don't know me. You have no idea what I'm carrying around." I spat out my words (with authentic spittle) while I waited for the elevator.

Sadly, because this isn't the movies, the elevator didn't arrive just as I finished my speech, but after a good 10 seconds of tense silence. When it did arrive, I dropped the bag inside and dropped my shoulders. I even managed to mess up BOXING, for expletives' sake. I feel like banging my head against a concrete wall, not that it would achieve much. I heard the doors begin to slide shut, so I turned back and raised my head. The sight I saw was not one I was expecting. Empathy, sadness, curiosity, surprise and shocked understanding seemed out of place in the whole scenario. The elevator doors were sliding together, limiting this wonderfully strange moment. The moment closed with a simple sentence tinged with sadness that echoed around my mind as heavily as any of the others.

"How can you know that?"


	7. Houston I Repeat, This Was Not Good

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: There's a kind of gruesome (like PG-13) thing at the beginning, but it's crucial to storyline. Ok, thanks :D

**Chapter 7**

**A couple days later…**

“I WILL GET BACK YOU BACK ONE DAY, KIRANA! YOU KNOW THERE’S NOWHERE YOU CAN HIDE! JUST YOU WAIT, YOU TRAITOR!”

The words slipped away as sickeningly fast as the blur of memories slid before my eyes. Images from childhood, puddles of drying blood, sparkling sunlight, screams that made the earth quake, stolen moments, and so much more as words thundered around.

“HELP ME! IN THE NAME OF GOD, HELP ME! I’M SO SORRY, PLEASE!! PLEASE HELP ME!” I felt the echoes of my own voice surround me and the world burst into black and white.

My left leg felt like it might burst into flames, as a large, crystalline rock gored most of my upper leg. The world was too heavy, too loud and too slippery as sounds of combat thickened the air. My own team fought near behind me and masked gunmen stood near in front. Though I was the easiest of targets, I was ignored by both of them. I yelled in pain as the crystal slowly grew within my own leg, but my greatest fear was not of it, but of its owner. I could feel his gaze, such a fiercely hot conglomerate of festering hatred and dark glee. His grey hair dully glinted in the warehouse’s light as he heavily strode towards me, shards of quartz circling from his hands. Terrified, I attempted to crawl away, but the crystal in my leg swiftly grew and my world was so filled with pain that I couldn’t breathe. Delirious and utterly sure I was going to die, I gazed up to the face of my nightmares.

“Didn’t I say I would find you?”

Unable to hold it anymore, I let lose a bloody scream. I felt power ripple across the room, but before I could do anything else a heavy boot had slammed down on my face. The rest of the memory slipped to hazy grey and warbling voices, and then black. It seemingly stayed that way for eons until I realised I couldn’t move, my legs strapped to a table.

“I told you that I wouldn’t let you get away.”

The memory fell away like water running down glass, leaving nothing but agony and shrieks.

* * *

 

I woke screaming and screaming and screaming. It ripped from my throat and while horrific, I was far more used to this than anything else. Pain was an old friend; screaming was practically the old next-door neighbour.

Abruptly fully aware of my state, I cut myself off. I laid in the bed for a moment, reorientating and trying to comprehend my surroundings before scrambling up. I began to pace and tried to slow my sprinting heart.

 _Well at least Sophie didn’t have to hear that_ , I thought absently and stopped immediately. I am in a populated tower, with the _freaking AVENGERS_ , WELL SHI-

“Jarvis?” Ever the gentlewoman, I try to stay polite and keep the trembling from my voice at the same time.

“Yes.”

“I was, um, wondering if my… disturbances were heard by anyone else.”

“The levels are completely soundproofed, since the other residents decided that listening to Black Sabbath at 2 am was undesirable.”

“Oh wonderful! FINALLY; a turn in my luck. Thank you very much, Jarvis. Could you direct me towards the gym again please?”

“I would be happy to, but first I would like to tell you that I alerted Mr Stark, who seems to have alerted Mr Rogers.”

“YOU WHAT?”

“My apologies, Dr Harrison, but Mr Stark asked to be notified if you were to have any troubles.”

“DAMN IT! URGH, I- Ok, could you tell them there was a mix-up or something? Like I’m a sleep yodeller or something?”

“I don’t think that will be possible, Dr Harrison.”

“And why is that?!”

 **DING**.

**…………**

**KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK.**

“Kirana?! Kirana open up!”

In the name OF KANYE, DAMN IT!

I ambled towards the door while trying to fix my hair and tidy my kinda sweaty (GROSS) pyjamas. I opened the door and tried to nonchalantly lean against the doorframe, which completely juxtaposed my appearance.

“Is there a problem, boys?” While seeming indifferent in a tank top and whale booty shorts is difficult, I happened to think I had pulled it off quite well.

Tony raised both eyebrow, lowered them, darkened his whole expression and pushed past me. Steve (Mr Rogers? Captain Rogers? GAH! I give up…) averted his eyes, but walked past me all the same. Damn it, maybe I’m not as smooth as I think I am. _Hmm_.

I closed the door after them, gathered strength and turned around with my best smile smeared across my face. I tried to appear joking and casual, but their faces killed that instantly.

“Kay, is there something you want to tell us?” Tony’s voice was uncharacteristically gentle, lacking its usual snark and wit.

I dragged my feet as I drew closer to the couch they had already seized. I tried to think of a hasty excuse or anything at all, but the voices were on a rampage and all I could think was _DON’T SCREAM, DON’T SCREAM, DON’T SCREAM_. Partially ashamed I couldn’t think of anything better, I gave the weakest excuse possible.

“Oh, I get, uh, bad nightmares. Really, you guys shouldn’t have got up for a little squealing.” I sat and crossed my legs as I spoke, not even looking at them.

That was just weak.

“Really?” The (for lack of a better description) _really, bitch; really?_ expression painted across Steve’s face made me wish I had a camera, but now was not the time, Kirana, control yourself. He decided to continue ( _damn_ ) with a hard hitter.

“Would you like to see the video feed?”

“YOU’VE BEEN RECORDING ME!!! HUGE BREACH OF PRIVACY, I-“

“You signed something that addressed this the minute you started working for me, Kay.”

“TONY, YOU WERE IN ON THE PLOT? I’VE BEEN HOODWINKED! HOODWINKED, I SWEAR!”

“Jarvis, please play the video for Dr Harrison.”

No, no, nopeity nope.

The TV screen opposite us blinked into life and the feed of my room filled the giant display. It starts minutes before I woke up and already I knew I was far down shit creek.

I watched on as my past self twisted, pulled, grasped, cried and winced for minutes before I began screaming. Not squealing, like finding a spider or a friend surprising you. Screaming like your heart had been torn out, or the world was physically collapsing around you. Admittedly, those memories I was reliving were just that, but…. Anyway, the screaming continued for ages, and I mean minutes, until I woke up, which is when I screamed some more and then finally shut up.

“So Kay….”

“Why do you need to know? Why does it matter?!?” I tried to go on the defensive, to guilt them into backing off, but that was an instant failure.

“Believe it or not,” (Steve, the sarcasm is practically tangible), “between us two, we have a lot of experience with.. ehm, nightmares. The really bad kind. The kind that stems from really bad experiences. The kind of nightmares that are real.”

“Enough.” The iron of my voice surprises everyone, yours truly included, “My baggage is my baggage. I’m sorry that I woke you, and I will make sure Jarvis doesn’t do it again. Yeah, shit happens, but I’ve dealt with it by myself for most of my life; I don’t need help now. Thank you, but good sirs, I bid you goodnight. Get out.”

Thankfully, this was a dry kind of firm anger (no crying as of yet), except these _children_ looked nothing but exasperated and vaguely amused. I twirled my hand towards the door and they finally seemed to get the message. Tony strode out of the room briskly, but of course before he left, he got the last word.

“Jarvis, make sure I know if Dr Harrison has another episode. That is a direct order. Don’t worry, Kay, I’m not giving up on you so quick.”

 _Bastard_. He leaves with a signature smile and I rest my head on my hand as I wait for Steve to leave. He walks less deliberately, and he turns before he even reaches the door’s landing.

“So… Are you keeping up the callous bitch demeanour tomorrow?”

Completely caught off guard and _definitely_ not expecting those words to come from Captain Manners’ mouth, I almost answer _yes_. I manage to catch myself, but the damage is well and truly done. The wall between them and me is crumbling before my eyes and I numbly wonder how I’m going to manage now. He smiles a little, just a raising of the corner, but it’s enough to make me want to smile properly (KIRANA, CALM THE FRACKLE DOWN!)

Steve looks down at his feet a little before talking again, “I kinda picked it from the beginning when you forced yourself to suddenly  be rude. Add the boxing bag thing and _this_ , and well… I’m pretty damn certain, Doc. Your little trip-up just then also helped. I know there’s a lot more going on as well that you’re refusing to tell us. And if whatever just happened right there wasn’t PTSD, then I’ll give you ten bucks, right here, right now.”

He deconstructed it all, like he was finally putting all the pieces into place, and I realised that there’s more to him than I wanted to think. That there was more than Captain Morals and Manners; more than the idealised bits that the public had grown to idolise. That there were kind of hidden parts; the ones that helped win a war, and lead the world’s mightiest heroes.

I would have to look out for him, I could see that already. He could make my mission even more difficult. The others mainly thought I was bad-mannered and weak, but he could see past it. Damn him and his perfect _goddamn_ hair.

I didn’t say anything, but he knew anyway. Steve knew that a new understanding was growing between us, and I did not like this at all. I didn’t want personal connections. I didn’t come here to be understood.

He nodded politely and sauntered away through my door and into the elevator. I heard the **DING** and I melted back into the couch. This was not good, Houston I repeat, this was not good.


End file.
